On an' on
I'm just another brick in the wall
In your wall, eh?
You tried to build yourself on my remains
You used bricks you stole from me
You used me
I loved you
I wanted to fix you but I forgot
that you can't fix others
But you can fix yourself using others
I forgot to watch my back
because I trusted you
Now I'm always watching my back
I do not trust
I do not sleep
I am broken
Take what you want
but do not take it from me

Nemo

 (This thor's day we take a trip to the year 2013 and Jasper, Canada. I wrote this poem during the world café)

I've been made of forgotten words
Imaginary sights at the end of the flashlight
Like this young man with dark hair
and eyes no emerald green

My heart beats too slow
so no one could never know
What I feel
when the night gets dark
You can see tracks of my tears
coming from my greatest fears

I want to hop the world three times around
then sleep and never wake up
Sometimes wondering will someone
at some place and time
Make me feel loved
Will someone
at some place and time
Notice what I'm doing to myself


Forgotten words
Dead languages
That's what I'm made of
That's what I am
No one
in the eternity

Heart

I love him

I really do

I realise it now

Fingers caressing the piano

Hair mixing with the redding sun

My love

My dearest

My one and only

Smile wrapping arms around me

Coffee going cold but warming

We are not going to happen

We were not meant for it

We are something better

Friends

A Wiccan Bible

 (This throwback thursday leads us to the year 2014 and course called Creative Writing. We had to write the memory of an object, so I did it from my wiccan bible)

Over the sea I flew
with a seeker by my side
Excited I was, indeed
when she chose me
From Canada to Finland
over the Atlantic sea I came
New, country, new language
Gladly she speaks english with me
She dresses me up with bright lines
I am a bible
a wiccan one
came from Canada
Finland is my home

how do you

how do you tell him

when even you don't know

how do you make him see

when even you don't want to look

how do you reveal yourself

when all you ever do is covering yourself

how do you let him in

when you're pushing yourself out

how do you not give up

when you feel like you're not enough

how do you look him in the eyes

when you can't hide how happy he makes you

how do you hide

when you automatically reach out for him

how do you keep the distance

when all you want is to be near him

how do you let him go

when all you want is him to stay

how do you tell him you miss him

when one thought about him makes you speechless

how do you hug him

when letting go feels like dying

how do you love him

when you are so scared

to even tell him

Guns

I might love and lose you

it's all about guns behind my back

You hate love

and I love hating you

Someone save me!

My walls are coming down

Someone please protect me!

i'm here all alone

12. A Letter from Death Row

(Tänään something in English. I beg your pardon kaikista kamalista virheistä mitä tuolla vilisee, mmuttamutta. Tosiaan, numero otsikon edessä on sen otsikon numero. En ottanut pois koska muuten se fiilis olisi muuttunut. Enjoy)

 

 

12. A Letter from Death Row

Dear mom and dad,

I’m so sorry I wasn’t that kind of son you wanted. I did my mistakes, some of them too big. Don’t blame my friends, I was the one to make the decision to kill him. They tried to stop me but I didn’t listen.  Mom always said I’m an old oaf who does whatever he wants. Kind of funny it led me to this point.

I just want to say I love you. So much that it hurts. I want you to know, I always wanted to be perfect. It just turned out and I lost my conciousness of right and wrong. You were the best parents boy could have, I just wasn’t the best boy parents could have. I regret all the things I’ve said, did or left undone.
Tell my sisters I love them. Lianna, you’re way too beautiful to waste your time with idiots like me. Brittany, you’re the brightest star our theater could have, but don’t let your intelligence go waste. I love you both and now you know how to help your own sons if they end up being like me.

When they told me I had two options, poison or electrocution, I chose electrocution, because it will hurt. I know that, and I want it. You may think I’ve gone mad or something, but I’m not. Mom, I hurted him and his family so much. It’s unfair to you that you have to lose someone too, but it makes victim’s family feel better. Dad, you always said big boys don’t cry. I’m a man now, and I cry because I fear facing death alone. I’m sorry you can’t meet me in Heaven, but murderers and pagans go to Hell.

Your remorseful son,
Alexander.